Blown Away

Blown Away

1994

Directed by Stephen Hopkins

One of my co-workers brought this in because he thought I would like to see it. Nope.

Jeff Bridges is a bomb squad dude with a history of Irish anti-British terrorism. He's put that all behind him and is newly married when, surprise, his old mentor breaks free from prison and starts killing off his colleagues as part of an elaborate revenge plot. Now let's see, who would be a good guy to get to play a slightly insane Irish terrorist? Oh yeah, Tommy Lee Jones... not! Jones is pretty fucking ridiculous with his silly Irish accent and his hammy villain routine. You get the feeling that somebody should draw a pointy moustache on him. Bridges dials in a routine performance with lots of scenes where he runs towards somebody who just got blown up screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The only decent actor here is The Forest Whitaker as a Bridges' cocky rookie replacement; it's a pretty archetypal role, but he brings some character to the role which is sorely missing from the rest of the film.

I could tell exactly what was going to happen throughout the entire movie before it occurred. Really typical thriller crap, written from a template. This can be used for any thriller you can think of: 1) Opening scene where crazy villain escapes improbably from prison. 2) Happy times on the homefront as hero and girlfriend/ mandatory cute kid are intro'd. 3) First conflict situation unrelated to villain, introducing hero and his dangerous and thankless job. 3a) preferably add in some flashbacks to a tragic past related to said job. 4) Happy times wedding proposal and marriage, quitting the dangerous job and leaving tragic past behind him.

5) BUT! Villain strikes and hero is drawn back into job to take on his old mentor. 5a) Plucky rookie takes over job, preferably gets upbraided by hero and has a beef. 6) Dramatic scenes where people are being killed in unlikely masterminded ways. 6a) Don't forget to have hero run towards the wreckage and go NOOO!

7) Hero must save rookie from villain, cementing their bond. 7a) Meanwhile villain visits hero's family; tension! 8) Death of close friend causing hero to go apeshit and hunt down villain. 9) Climax in villain's lair or some sort of arena. 9a) Villain has upper hand but wow, rookie to the rescue, who saw that one coming? 10) Victory! Except no, there is one last pitfall designed by the villain. 10a) Second climax where hero succeeds in daring rescue of family members. 11) All is well and characters may walk off into the distance.

This is the format for literally every mediocre thriller I've ever seen and so I really can't watch these sorts of movies anymore. Blown Away gets zero points for creativity. I also detract points for its annoying use of cultural stereotypes. Not all Irish people drink Guinness, watch the boxing, wear a tam, dance a jig at a wedding, etc. Also, pretty gay to throw in a U2 song during a climactic scene. Also, not all black funerals feature holy rollers singing amazing grace soulfully. Also, not all Spanish-speaking men are womanizers. There were more instances, but I don't really feel like trying to remember them.

So yeah, even though it wasn't absolutely terrible, its utter mediocrity makes me want to give it an even lower rating than a horrible movie. Star power could not save this piece of crap.

3.8