Clash of the Titans
1981
Directed by Desmond Davis
The first thing I want to say is that I hate almost all computer animation. It ruins everything. Remember back in the day? If you wanted a vile creature, you would slap some fur and makeup on a hulking individual and that was that. If you needed a large mob, you'd hire a bunch of extras. If you needed a dinosaur, you would make a goddamned dinosaur out of plasticene and painstakingly create a stopmotion sequence!!! You might even make an actual robot dino or go find some DNA and CLONE an effin dinosaur! At the very least, you could have the decency to stick a dinosaur costume on a dude and have him stomp around. But noooo, we have to use the new technology, trust us, it's much more realistic when movies look just like video game graphics! This is a thing that makes me go "Argh!" CG animated Yoda makes me go apeshit! You know what? I don't wanna talk about it anymore.
I have a lot of respect for filmmakers who had to make due with smaller budgets and had to achieve effects creatively. One such man was Ray Harryhausen, stop-motion animator and effects guru extraordinaire, previously responsible for cool skeleton battles in Jason and the Argonauts and other mythologically-themed stuff. Although not the director, Harryhausen clearly was calling the shots on Clash of the Titans.
Clash basically follows the myth of Perseus (played by Harry Hamlin), which I'm not all that familiar with. Perseus is the son of Zeus and a human woman, Danae. I have to describe how this union occurred: Zeus thought Danae was hot and decided to descend upon her loins as a shower of gold. Yes people... a divine golden shower. Anybody who thinks this is weird might want to recall that Mary the mother of Christ was impregnated by the holy spirit. Personally, I find the Greek myth more colourful. Anyway, Perseus gets shipped off in a crate overseas with his mom, and he grows up in hicksville. The gods intervene and he ends up falling in love with a foreign princess, Andromeda. But then Andomeda's mom pisses off one of gods and she is forced to sacrifice Andomeda to the Kraken, one of the Titans of Greek mythology. (Fact: Actually out of Norse mythology. This movie is not overly accurate.) Daring exploits follow.
Even with some big names in the cast - perennial thespian Laurence Olivier as Zeus, Maggie Smith (Professor McGonagall to all you Harry Potter fans, expelliarmus or whatever) as the goddess Thetus, among others - the real star is Harryhausen and his bitchin animation. Model cities are destroyed by epic sea monsters, Perseus is attacked by giant scorpions, beasts, a two-headed dog (three heads were apparently too much trouble to animate!) and even Medusa. Our hero flies around on a pegasus and is assisted by a mechanical owl. The scenery is quite impressive, even if some of it is clearly greenscreened. You might get a kick out of the occasional cheesy effect or camera trick, but that just adds to the fun. I found myself most impressed by the stop-motion sequences and how accomplished they were. The scene with Medusa is tense and the craftsmanship is stunning. The Kraken is pretty badass as well, in a sort of Creature from the Black Lagoon meets Godzilla way.
Compared to effects-reliant modern movies, Clash looks decidedly old-school. This is, however, its primary virtue. You have to meet it on its own terms. Everything is strung together with the zeal of an elementary-school kid with a shelf full of popular mythology books. If you are not smiling while you watch this movie, there is something seriously wrong with you. It has its faults, but if you're like me, you won't even notice them. Clash of the Titans is undeniably a classic.
8.0
1981
Directed by Desmond Davis
The first thing I want to say is that I hate almost all computer animation. It ruins everything. Remember back in the day? If you wanted a vile creature, you would slap some fur and makeup on a hulking individual and that was that. If you needed a large mob, you'd hire a bunch of extras. If you needed a dinosaur, you would make a goddamned dinosaur out of plasticene and painstakingly create a stopmotion sequence!!! You might even make an actual robot dino or go find some DNA and CLONE an effin dinosaur! At the very least, you could have the decency to stick a dinosaur costume on a dude and have him stomp around. But noooo, we have to use the new technology, trust us, it's much more realistic when movies look just like video game graphics! This is a thing that makes me go "Argh!" CG animated Yoda makes me go apeshit! You know what? I don't wanna talk about it anymore.
I have a lot of respect for filmmakers who had to make due with smaller budgets and had to achieve effects creatively. One such man was Ray Harryhausen, stop-motion animator and effects guru extraordinaire, previously responsible for cool skeleton battles in Jason and the Argonauts and other mythologically-themed stuff. Although not the director, Harryhausen clearly was calling the shots on Clash of the Titans.
Clash basically follows the myth of Perseus (played by Harry Hamlin), which I'm not all that familiar with. Perseus is the son of Zeus and a human woman, Danae. I have to describe how this union occurred: Zeus thought Danae was hot and decided to descend upon her loins as a shower of gold. Yes people... a divine golden shower. Anybody who thinks this is weird might want to recall that Mary the mother of Christ was impregnated by the holy spirit. Personally, I find the Greek myth more colourful. Anyway, Perseus gets shipped off in a crate overseas with his mom, and he grows up in hicksville. The gods intervene and he ends up falling in love with a foreign princess, Andromeda. But then Andomeda's mom pisses off one of gods and she is forced to sacrifice Andomeda to the Kraken, one of the Titans of Greek mythology. (Fact: Actually out of Norse mythology. This movie is not overly accurate.) Daring exploits follow.
Even with some big names in the cast - perennial thespian Laurence Olivier as Zeus, Maggie Smith (Professor McGonagall to all you Harry Potter fans, expelliarmus or whatever) as the goddess Thetus, among others - the real star is Harryhausen and his bitchin animation. Model cities are destroyed by epic sea monsters, Perseus is attacked by giant scorpions, beasts, a two-headed dog (three heads were apparently too much trouble to animate!) and even Medusa. Our hero flies around on a pegasus and is assisted by a mechanical owl. The scenery is quite impressive, even if some of it is clearly greenscreened. You might get a kick out of the occasional cheesy effect or camera trick, but that just adds to the fun. I found myself most impressed by the stop-motion sequences and how accomplished they were. The scene with Medusa is tense and the craftsmanship is stunning. The Kraken is pretty badass as well, in a sort of Creature from the Black Lagoon meets Godzilla way.
Compared to effects-reliant modern movies, Clash looks decidedly old-school. This is, however, its primary virtue. You have to meet it on its own terms. Everything is strung together with the zeal of an elementary-school kid with a shelf full of popular mythology books. If you are not smiling while you watch this movie, there is something seriously wrong with you. It has its faults, but if you're like me, you won't even notice them. Clash of the Titans is undeniably a classic.
8.0
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